Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Online Dating

After a divorce and a two year on again off again boyfriend, I decided to try online dating (with some encouragement from my mother and my best friend).  I joined Match.com on Jan. 9th, 2010 for a three month membership.  Really as soon as I signed up my email was flooded daily.  There were a few I was definitely interested in, but a lot that I was not!  I put 26-38 years old on my profile, but for some reason I was attracting 40+ guys and even one 57 year old man!  That’s my dad’s age…creepy.  So after a week I had about 100 emails, 100 winks, and my profile had been viewed almost 1,000 times!  That is crazy!  Talk about a confidence booster…  I also had my first date set up by that Wednesday.  A guy named Mike, 32...he asked for a Saturday date.  So we met at a local wine bar.  I walked in and luckily he did look like his pictures.  We chatted, drank red wine, ate pizza, then he took me to an Aeros Hockey game at the Toyota Center.  We had fun.  He was nice, very polite and chivalrous…he paid, opened doors, it was nice.  We had a few beers at the game and a few laughs.  At the end of the date he dropped me at my car.  He asked if I wanted to get another drink somewhere, but I thought it was best to quit while ahead…no reason he should see drunk girl on the first date.  I was already a little tipsy.  He didn’t try to kiss me, but I gave him a hug.  He said if I ever wanted to do it again to give him a call.  BUT I"m not supposed call boys.  (I learned that in one of the books I read.)  I did text him later that night to say thanks again and that I had fun.  He texted back that he had fun too.  So four days later and I hadn’t heard from him.  Now I didn’t feel a huge connection or anything, but I’m trying to give this a chance.  The only real issue I had with Mike was that he had two kids…6 year old daughter and a 10 year old son.  Now I’m not looking to be a step mom you know.  But he was nice. I'm not completely opposed to men with kids...I can't be at my age.  But I can hope!
Now there are a few guys I emailed with that I like, but they didn’t ask for my number.  Patti from Millionaire Matchmaker says not to give it out unless they ask.  So I guessed that I needed to hang back and let the men be hunters and come to me.  It is hard though because I usually get what I want and I usually go after it.  My best friend says I’m too forward, so I’m trying to change that.

So the guys that I was interested in were:
Wayne -super hot (with tattoos & nipple rings)  pole climber for an electric company
A.J. - cutie that adopted a cat from a shelter
Steve - cute guy, but acting like a friend…not a love interest (confusing)
Ramon - Latino lover, but he has a big head for his body
Joe - cutie surfer

And a few more…

There is a crazy guy.  He actually pulled me in with a funny email, but then he started sending page long emails.  He kind of scared me off, reminded me of the guy I dated in college…Brent that worked at a local video store.  He would have long conversations with my answering machine.  Weird.

So while all of this was going on, I was also backsliding to my ex.  We had sex a few times too.  Probably a mistake, but he is trying so hard.  He got a 9-5 job, he dressed nicer, he was working out again (hot body - reason for the sex), he tanned, and he brought me flowers.  I still didn't know what to do about this guy, but I thought I owed it to myself to do this dating around.  I thought maybe it would make me see he is for me or it won’t.  Either way I think it’s healthy.  Now if only I could get a crazy narcissistic Australian stripper to fall in love with me…then all will be at peace with the world. But that's a whole other story!


Hi... I’m a 35 year old woman, divorced, no kids (yet), three cats, two younger sisters, and a teenage brother.  Just a normal woman, living a typical life, so who cares right?  Well, after my divorce then breaking up with my boyfriend of two years, I was feeling down like anyone would.  Of course my girlfriends, mother, sisters, and step mother gave me suggestions and advice.  They would try to help, but really nothing could.  It’s just nice that they are there for you and lend an ear when you need to vent.  I started reading self help books, books teaching you how to understand men, and books telling you how to date and get a guy.  They did help in a way…made me feel more confident and gave me a new sense of self and motivation.  I started working out and eating better.  I started getting a life…rather than sitting at home on the couch alone, I made plans with friends and family.  I also started going out more with my 23 year old sister and her friends.  It’s nice to go out and have men guess that you are almost 10 years younger than you really are.  But then as far as my dating life, I did get lonely, I wasn’t really meeting anyone.  I had what a friend coined L.B.S. (Lonely Bitch Shit).  When I went out, every guy I met was 22 years old or they were interested in only one aspect of a relationship (guess which one).  So I had to try something else.  In my new quest I thought  it would be a good idea to journal and record what happened.  I did a lot of journaling during my separation from my ex-husband and it really helped.  Once I started, not only was it amusing and entertaining, but I thought hey…maybe this could help someone else.  Just as I was reading those books during my time of need, it might help someone to know that they are not alone…someone else had been through the same thing, and maybe you could laugh at me a little too (my friends and sisters sure did).  So I'm gonna tell you what happened…